..Porque quiero vivir con la ilusión de que este reguero de ideas que tengo no es un sin sentido sin fin..
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Así se baila el Tango
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
:Billet d'Avion:
"I love you not for what you are, but for what I am when I'm with you," - Author Unknown
Elle avait le billet d’avion dans son sac à main, celui-ci était au-dessous de ses jambes, juste à côté du gilet de sauvetage. Elle a ouvert les yeux doucement, 8 :4opm vol à NY…ouais, c’était à cette heure qu’elle avait pris son avion, maintenant elle ne savait pas quelle heure il était. Elle avait laissé sa montre sur son bureau, chez elle. De certaine manière elle avait pensé que dès qu’elle prenait son avion ; le temps ne compterait plus.
Elle avait peur, ses mains tremblaient et depuis quelques jours elle avait froid, mais froid du genre qui se mettait dans les os et qu’elle ne pouvait pas apaiser. C’était bizarre, il faisait nuit et elle le savait même si elle ne le voyait pas. Les hôtesses de l’air avaient déjà passé plusieurs fois avec des plateaux, de la nourriture et des boissons. Non, je ne veux rien, merci. Souri.
Le billet était vieux, dans son sac il devait être écrasé par toutes ses affaires, par son portefeuille, son passeport et quoi d’autre. Elle essayait d’agir comme si ce billet, vieux et écrasé ne valait rien quand en réalité, elle sentait qu’il valait plus que n’importe quel autre élément dans sa vie. Elle ne pouvait pas nier l’importance de ce but de papier, elle était quand même dans l’avion, en train de traverser l’Atlantique. Oui, elle savait que le billet avait une valeur.
Elle était dans l’avion, elle buvait du vin et pensait à lui. Putain, comme elle était pathétique. Elle gardait les souvenirs de ce qu’ils avaient vécu comme si c’était hier. Elle n’aimait pas trop les avions, en fait. Chaque fois qu’elle prenait un, elle avait des sentiments différents.
En vrai, elle a décidé que tout dependait que ce qui l’attendait de l’autre côté.
Si supiera que estos son los últimos minutos que te veo diría "te quiero" y no asumiría, tontamente, que ya lo sabes. – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Sunday, November 8, 2009
250 Pesos El Minuto
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
¿Qué es un buen día?

Sunday, October 11, 2009
:Sunday Night Thoughts:

Y cuando todo el mundo se iba
y nos quedábamos los dos
entre vasos vacíos y ceniceros sucios,
qué hermoso era saber que estabas
ahí
como un remanso,
sola conmigo al borde de la noche,
y que durabas, eras más que el tiempo,
eras la que no se iba
porque una misma almohada
y una misma tibieza
iba a llamarnos otra vez
al despertar al nuevo día,
juntos, riendo, despeinados.
It seems to me that happiness is one of the hardest things to find in this life. I sometimes wonder if it is just THAT hard to find it, or if maybe it is by our own doing that it takes such hard work. Because of this I decided that will take whatever small happiness I can get and enjoy it for as long as I can. I have noticed that it is the tiny, small details in life which seem to bring a smile to our faces and warm our hearts. Some silly text message or e-mail, a small gesture or a gentle touch, a cup of hot chocolate and pancakes.
I ask myself if I am happy now, I think of times when I was certain that I was, I knew that I needed nothing more, only more time to enjoy it. I think of streets, people, situations, my head of full of so many memories of happiness, and I keep longing for them. I think of a bed on which I was sitting and waiting for someone to come home. I remember smiles and a group of young men cheering. I remember how it felt to be loved.
Life without all these moments seems unreal, seems impossible. I want to find the happiness I felt then, now. I try to be a bigger person and move on, like we are all supposed to. Life here seems like a dream, I keep wondering when it is that I will wake up. I feel that I belong elsewhere, that there are other things waiting for me and I want to find them. People may think that it is just a wish to get away, to be free...I just want to do what I have always wanted to do, I want to be able to fulfill the dream that I have had since God knows when.
I don't really know how to act here, I'm not entirely sure I know what it is that I'm supposed to do or how I am supposed to be. We have all changed, people I knew are different now and I know for a fact that I am a different person. I am hesitant, I am not sure of what I want and even if I knew, I don't know if I would know how to get it. It seems to me that I tend to keep a distance, not to care so much, to go with the flow and embrace whatever may come my way. I am not sure what it is that I deserve.
C'est normal que j'aie peur. It feel that I have had the best that I'll ever get. I don't see how I can do any better than that, I can't help but wonder if there is truly a possibility of anybody looking at me in the same way. Being here has become a matter of accepting the present, of being constantly brought back to reality. Absence brings me back to reality. I am living as best as I can, with what I have.
I am scared shitless. There is the possibility that there will be someone else. Someone else will come and everything starts all over again. Someone else would probably be better, it would serve as far more than a distraction, instead of yearning for the presence and company of a person that is far away, there would be a person there, present, that could be touched, seen, loved.
I am not in the spirits for searching, I am looking for nothing, except probably distractions. I thought I had found one not so long ago. Something to make the parting seem a little less hard. Funnily enough I found my distraction to be not entirely healthy for me. After the parting, it seems that what I want is to find affection, affection that will be willingly given, that I can reciprocate and that may fill a little bit of the void that has been hanging around since I got on that plane.
Why is it that we look for affection where there is none to be given? I thought that I knew what it was that I wanted until I had it in front of me and realised I would probably be better off without it. As I said before, happiness is just too damn hard to find sometimes and it seems awfully ridiculous to go around, chasing an illusion of happiness which in turn only leads to misery. I have no desire for misery, I have no desire for complications, drama and silly fights over incredibly silly subjects. I try to hold on to the silly things that put a smile on my face, I try to take the good of every situation and let the complications slide past me, unnoticed.
Why is it then, that I hold on vigorously to such a complicated situation? Because in the midst of the complications, the memories, the hopes and the disappointments...in the midst of all that chaos, I find happiness that I never knew I would experience. I refuse to turn my back on happiness like that, I refuse to simply let go and forget. I don't want to forget and I'd really like not to be forgotten.
I think of second chances, meetings, encounters. I think of streets in France, in cities unknown to me but that I wish to explore. I think of a bench next to a Park on a street in New York City. I ponder about promises that were never made in order to never be broken.
I have decided that I'll just go with the flow, all take things as they may come and I cast misery aside. The ideal thing to do, would be to shut up and be happy.
I'll just have a cup of chocolate and a plate of pancakes while I wait for happiness to arrive :)
"A veces, casi siempre...seguro pienso en ti,"
Sunday, September 27, 2009
:Night Out @ Bogotá:
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Feliz Día de la Cheverecidad

Et toi, t'es d'où?